Let’s talk about getting UNSTUCK! I always hear, “I am so stuck, I don’t know how to move forward!” Or “I feel like I am a dog chasing its tail!” So how do we go from being stuck to just knowing what to do? Because you know what? When you find that place of what to do, it just feels magical!!
So first, you have to accept where we are. Arthur Ashe said, “Start where you are, and do what you can with what you have.” So many of you feel stuck because you feel like the problem is outside of you. “There is something out there and if I just found it, it would fix all our problems.” Let me break it to you, this may be hard to hear, you are how you are going to fix your own problems, not someone else! You have to accept where you are. You don’t have to look further ahead. You don’t have to look at the past you. You have to live in the here and now!
One of the first things I had to do to get to the level that I am at right now, was pull back from ALL the things I was doing. I had to say no to things. I was scheduled for everything. And I could not do it any longer. And when you do too much, you don’t leave room for the magic. Or you get caught in this is how my workout has to be… without any exceptions. I thought I had to do it ALL in or not do it at all. And when I look back it didn’t make sense! Now my mantra is “SOMETHING is better than NOTHING!” Even if it’s a little walk or a ride on the Peloton! Start thinking differently and stop feeling powerless that we cannot do all the things. Instead think, how can I accept where I am?
Take a step back. Observe. Assess. What is working? What is not working? Am I replaying old chapters in my life? Gather data! What are you eating? How are you working out? How are you sleeping? What are your hunger levels like? What are your energy levels? Where are the things we need to improve? What are the things we are doing great at?
What does your journey look like? If I don’t like the journey, I won’t last. It isn’t going to work if you say “just tell me what to eat and I’ll eat it or do it.” You won’t do it! Stop and take a look at… What is your life like? Then we can create your REPS. A realistic plan, one you are excited about! A plan that is around your life and sustainability, that way you can do it for life!
Many of us have fears about doing something different. It is in our mindset, and you have internal conflicts. You will remain stuck… You let your internal conflicts do this! It’s your internal conflicts that are keeping you stuck! This is where you have to give ourselves grace. And I know, the first few steps are going to feel awkward. And for many of you will find those first few steps are scary! But those few steps are called grace… Giving yourself and space to take the journey. You have to take that space and you deserve that space because you have to understand you will be safe on the other side.
When we are trying on different diet styles, and eating different foods, you are not married to one particular thing, you are testing it out to build the trust and certainty inside of yourself. And then you can start making those other decisions. What do you desire? What do you want? Where do you want to go? What do you need?
If the desire is what you want… What is what you need?? What are the steps you need to take to get to where you want to go? And again, don’t forget to give yourself grace! If you have a long way to go, it isn’t going to happen overnight. So, give yourself time and grace. What are your duties and obligations? How can you work this into your life so we don’t work our lives around it?
Fear… You have to get rid of the FEAR.. You are afraid it isn’t going to work. Especially if you are in your 40s & 50s, you have been doing the same thing over and over again. I know first-hand that trying something new can be different and it can be hard. But you will never know if you do not try!
Expectations. You put so much pressure on yourself that it has to look a certain way. It has to be a certain Or it just will not BE! So, let’s pull back on that pressure. Can you learn to take it one day at a time? Can you set a 90-day goal, then break it down into 30-day goals? Then step back and assess after 2 weeks, then 30 days, etc. Everyone suck at doing all the things, sorry, you aren’t that special snowflake, and neither am I. So, please stop doing that!
Let’s say your food sucks…Instead of trying to do it all at once, pick 1 meal a day and focus on that meal. Get that meal firing on all cylinders before moving on to the next… Whether it be lunch, dinner, breakfast, pick one to start with.
Inner work. Inner work isn’t sexy… But you have to do it. It’s challenging for some! For me, the inner work is what allowed me to crack open and break out of the “I must do it this way” I had a very rigid mindset. I always equate this process to GPS. If I take this exit and it gets me there 5 minutes faster than I am going that way! And I want you to start to get there because that rigid mindset is either going to slow your progression to your goal, or just keep you spinning around like a merry-go-round!
This inner work was the only way I could get to the point where I am today because I had to get past my old stories. I had to stop having a pity party and thinking of old stuff. I had to change something; my body didn’t want to do these workouts anymore. (Another clue I had to change what I was doing.) Taking this step right here is hard because you don’t want to slow down, but I had to slow down, look at my life and my body and see that all the stuff I was doing was not getting me to where I wanted to go. This helped me stop repeating the same mistakes.
This was my identity for a long time. – I was a gym rat! – I still love the gym, but I finally learned to develop a life outside the gym so that my life doesn’t revolve around health and fitness. Yes, this is my business, but it’s my calling to help you understand this. You can get healthy without your life being ONLY health and fitness. Our identity also tells us our beliefs about ourselves! I was a winger, and this made me resist making a plan. We think we can’t track our food; we think we can’t plan out our workouts. But we can!
We want to craft our vision. What do you want? Instead of Diet X tells me A, B, C.. What do you actually want? No, you cannot have Oreos and ice cream every day… However, what do you want? That way you can stop doing, doing and actually map it out. This will help things look different! You want it to be different from what you did 8 years ago. Yes, it will feel overwhelming, but when you have a strategy, you are no longer winging it! You are able to know what is going on, what you are doing, and collect data.
Give yourself permission to be different and test things out. Your ultimate success and how you get UNSTUCK is that you find things that are realistic so that you have these great choices that work for your life. You are clear about where it is you want to go. You are excited and connected to your why! Your why is your motivation. And you are excited about being creative about the approach you are going to take for this. Then we create a plan to give us the courage to move forward! When we get to the point we are within that sustainability.
That is the Fit Girl Magic formula! That is great habits lead to routines, those routines lead to consistency and ultimately that gives us those long-lasting results! And that my friend’s is how we get UNSTUCK!!
LINKS
Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/kimbarnesjeffersoncoach
Facebook Group:
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Website:
https://www.kimbarnesjefferson.com/
Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661
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