Part 2 of the why you’re not losing the weight series. The first part of this series was about making weight loss part your mission, your values. Everything I’ve talked about this over the next few blog posts, it is not about you must do it right now. Think of this as a puzzle. Some days you can find that corner piece and you start the puzzle, you put the corner pieces together and then you’re like looking for those, random odd, shaped pieces to put inside. That’s what this is like over the 6 blogs that I’m going to share with you some days you can easily put that puzzle together and some days you’re looking all over for a missing piece.
Where a lot of woman struggle is that they try to put it all together right away. You want to bake the cake in one fell swoop where sometimes we might need to go to the store and get a couple of ingredients. Shift your thinking that it’s a process it’s a step-by-step process. And over time you will get to where you want to go. I’lll be the first to tell you that it might not be as quick as you want. But what I know is true is that if you go slower, you have a better shot of keeping your goal because you’re learning your lessons as you work through the process you’re earning your reps.
I always like when clients come in and they want to like do all the things like right now. l liken it to like when we went to school when you went to kindergarten on the first day did you say to the teacher, “Mrs. Jones, I know everyone here is coloring but I think I’m a little bit more advanced I’m ready to do trigonometry.” Think about diet and nutrition in that capacity let’s start doing some coloring before we try to skip on to advanced stuff.
Today it’s all about your identity. And you know I’m big on definition’s so that we all get on the same page. It’s who you are. It’s what tribe you belong to. It’s also sometimes who we’re programmed to be, things our parents told you, being a good employee, a good social citizen. You also have an identity when it comes to weight loss. The diet industry has programmed us into thinking and that weight loss is hard and that you have to struggle and you only can eat this and you can’t eat that and you must you know your diet must have a name. Have you fallen for this, yeah I’ve fallen victim to that too, I’ve fallen for what seems like everything the diet industry has sold me hook line and sinker.
Let me take a big step back because identity is huge. There are so many layers that go into identity so the best way I can really describe identity is sports teams. Now I know some of you like I’m not a sports fan, but you know sports fans have a loyal lifelong identity. My husband is a die hard, Boston sports fan Patriots games, there’s no talking to him on Sunday when the Patriots are on. I have to get everything out of my mouth before one o’clock kickoff and or wait until the final score. That’s a big part of his identity. That’s his tribe. I live here in Boston, most of Boston are Red Sox fans. So, no matter who the Red Sox are playing at some point during the game, someone will yell Yankees suck and then the whole stadium will start chanting Yankees suck. Yankees are the Red Sox biggest rival. And got me thinking that our minds our biggest rival
So, are you in your mind when looking in the mirror are you saying, I hate my thighs they are are fat, my butt? my stomach? are you chanting all these negative things, making that your identity? Identifying as someone that has a fat ass, someone who has belly fat. If you’re not someone who identifies as not being able to lose the weight, someone who is not a, healthy person, a fit person, it’s going to be of a bit of a struggle, because I’m telling myself, it’s going to be a struggle. And so I have flip the script, I need to start believing differently, start identifying in a different way, identifying as someone who wants to lose the weight, someone who can lose the weight, someone who can lose the weight easily. And you need to step more into the ease of it versus looking always looking for the hard looking for the struggle looking for the lists that you have to follow. You know that magical list that won’t work unless I follow it to a T.
So instead of thinking about what that outcome is starting to think about who I want to become when I achieve this goal, because if I already embody it, like I talked about the sports fan, if I embody being a Red Sox fan, no matter what the Red Sox do, I think they’re the bee’s knees. Right? If I am a diehard 49s fan same thing, right? Their identity as a fan makes them feel like they have ownership of the team. They have no ownership other than a frickin jersey, the head coach, or the manager isn’t gonna call them and ask, “what do you think, who should I start playing today?
Here’s where I ask you do you identify as someone who is a healthy and fit person? Do I identify as someone who can achieve my goals, because when you do that, then that’s you’re going to start to make the switch. That’s when you are going to really start to crush my goals, when I start to think about this is who I am as a person. How do you make the flip you decide, decide that I’m going to be a person who works out, decide I’m going to be a person who eats healthy, decide that I’m going to be a person who gets my my butt to bed on time, decide that once I make the decision I’m going to make it work.
Here are some concrete examples. So, say I want to be someone who exercises I want to identify someone who is an exerciser and I’m not currently doing it. Instead of saying, I’m going to the gym, every week, I’m going to crush my goal. You’ve said that before and how long did that last? Instead say this I’m going to go to the gym on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. And I’m going to walk on the treadmill, or if the gym intimidates you, say I’m going to find a 15-minute workout on YouTube, and I’m going to work out for 15 minutes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 7am. I become a person who works out is three days a week, three days a week. I’m becoming a person who works out now and then as you do the small things, you get some reps under your belt, you start to feel like someone who works out. You know, maybe you get a little muscle going. And then eventually you are feeling more comfortable, more confident so that you can now bump it up. Maybe you’re doing 30 minutes.
I want someone who eats healthy. So, then what do healthy people do, I’m going to have one cup of vegetables every day. Maybe you eat more vegetables, that’s great, but you’re going to make it your life’s mission that you’re gonna have one full cup of vegetables. When that cup of vegetables happens regularly, all of a sudden, you’re like, oh, look at me, I’m honoring commitments to myself.
Think about it in your in your in your way.
Who is the person that I want to become?
What’s the identity that I want to start assuming?
And then what are some of the steps I can take to start assuming that identity?
I have a little bit of homework for you, if you’re willing.
Here’s the homework.
1. What’s the goal that you want to achieve? Is it losing weight? I mean, this works for pretty much anything.
2. What is that sentence that describes who I am trying to become? If my goal, is I want to lose weight. My one sentence would say I am a person who easily loses weight. I’m a weight loss champion. That’s, that’s my one sentence that describes the type of person that I want to become.
3. What are 3 – 5 five little things three to five, that I can do. So, if I want to lose weight, I can say, I’m a person who eats one cup of vegetables. I’m a person works out 15 minutes a day, I’m a person who walks 10,000 steps,
a person who eats sleeps seven hours a day. I’m going to just pick one, not try to do everything. Focus on what feels easy right now. Then work on that just work on that one thing. Until that one thing until you are doing it without thinking about it. And then move on to the next thing.
Because what typically happens is many of write down these five things and tell yourself you can do all these 5 things and then life gets busy. And then you’re like, see I failed again. When you focus on one thing, you’ll find it easier to squeeze that one thing into your life every day, versus trying to make room for like the 500 things you told yourself you have to do in order to lose the weight.
Here is the fork in the road, you can continue down the path that you’re on, calling out your belly fat, calling yourself a failure loser. Or you can shift the identity to become the weight loss person who is fit, who is healthy. And you can start by taking one small step, one simple step, every single day, until I your results. Now, here’s where I challenge you, it’s going to be small, the results might be a little slower, but I this is what I can guarantee you the results are going to last because now it’s become who you are, it’s no longer an opportunity to blow it off.
I’m a regular exerciser because it’s my identity. If I don’t work out or move my body in some capacity I feel like something’s missing. I crave going for a walk, I crave moving my body in some way shape or form. So, I challenge to that point where you just like crave it. Trust me, everyone can be healthy. You can do it. You have it within you. So, I would love for you to leave me a comment below who is the person that you are becoming?
These are the types of things that we’re going to start talking about the loops, we’re going to start to open in my 10 days to reboot and refocus. How do you reboot your mind so that you can finally break all the chains that are keeping you stuck, and finally get to where it is that we want to be in our lives when it comes to our health and our fitness.