Today we are going to talk about change and understand change a little bit better. I am currently working a lot with the girls in my Fit Girl Magic Society about change. I noticed a recurring theme, that in your mind you want weight loss, a flat belly, a good night sleep, a consistent workout routine, and know what to do, but for the love of God you cannot take the steps to get there, but instead, you just bang your head against a wall!
Ladies…. Change is a process. So, I am going to walk through 6 steps today regarding what change looks like. Sometimes change can feel effortless.. think about seasons. We evolve and adapt to these changes. Sometimes change can be difficult and frustrating and seem impossible. Especially when you are trying to lose those last 5 pounds. I get it. There are so many avenues to change, how to get there, and what it looks like for each person. But you can get there!
I know that you wish changing worked a certain way. You wish it was this 3 step process.
1) You know what you want to change.
2) You decide you want to do it.
3) And ding dong it arrives at your doorstep like Amazon Prime! I WOULD BE OUT OF BUSINESS if this was how easy it worked. So we have to accept that we will have bumps along the road and it will not come as easy as this 3 step process above. Sorry Charlie!
When we are going through the road of change, we have to go through my 4-step process of REPS.
1. Is your goal realistic?
2. Am I excited about it?
3. Can I make a plan for it?
4. And is it sustainable at the end of the day?
If I don’t have those 4 things in place, we are probably not going to be successful.
3 Important Parts To Change.
Number 1. Our mindset.
What are our beliefs about change? What are our beliefs about ourselves? What do we value? What are your priorities?
Number 2. What is your environment?
Are you around people cheerleading you on or giving you your next glass of Rose?
You are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with!!!
Number 3. Behavior.
What are your daily actions, practices, and skills that are leading you towards your goal?
My step-by-step, daily actions will be the main driver of where we get.
Does your change feel scratchy, and you have to struggle? Do you feel middle of the road? Or do you feel change is easy?
You have to decide where you change your life. This is a mindset thing. So where are your struggles? Where do you need to look at? Do we feel change is inside me? These are my thoughts. Do you believe that you have to work on to making a change? Or do you think it’s outside of you? Do you think it’s your environment? Is it your relationship?
Knowing what to do and doing it are very different. This is where I think I shine as a coach. I ask questions to better understand, what motivates you? What gets you up and going? Is this time to do it okay for you and your schedule? Or are you in a season in your life that this will not work? I help you to start thinking about, how are we going to actually implement these behaviors? Sometimes I feel like as a coach I am looking at your reality and you are not. What is in your reality to set you up down the path for the most success?
Here are six steps here as to what change may look like and/or some obstacles that you may face.
Step 1. We have to assess where we are.
This is where you are, the stage of change. (I have a podcast all about this that talks about the stages of change. https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/18852446
You have Contemplation; you know there is a problem, but you are not ready. Lacking confidence about making change.
Then you have Pre-contemplation, thinking about making the change but haven’t taken any action.
Next is Action: know the change, get your action plan, and make the steps.
And then there is Maintenance; in the process of the change being made or constantly working on creating change for said challenge. So where are you at right now in the change?
Step 2. What does your big picture look like?
What do you foresee when you are trying to make the change? What behaviors do you already possess to help you with the change? With this, I recommend picking one action at a time, and then take that one action, test it, and see how you did. Did that one action move the needle in any way shape or form? Then evaluate this for at least 30-40 days.
Where are you right now and where do you want to be? What matters on your journey? What are the things that might pop up on your journey? Poop is going to happen, we know this… so what is your plan? And that plan has to be flexible.
Step 3. Narrow your focus.
The common trap I see people fall into when trying to make these changes is that their goal is too vague. Your blinders are on, and you want to lose 20 pounds boom that is it. The 20 pounds is very narrow-focused because it doesn’t take into account anything else going into your life. Other activities that could be contributing to that weight gain. Figure out exactly what that goal is and narrow in on it.
Step 4. Get clear on where we are starting.
I see this so much… We are not clear on where we are starting. We NEED to know where we are starting so we can get that goal nice and clear. We want to start seeing trends along the way with this. Are you being too ambitious? Or is it an over-ambitious type of goal? Where exactly are you in your life right now for that goal? Is it possible to get to it where you are now, or do you need to make smaller goals and changes to get to that bigger one?
Step 5. Indefinite action.
What does this mean? You have no clear timeline. You don’t know how long it will take, or how long you want it to take. You don’t know when you want to have it done or where you would like to be at said time. “I am going to lose 100 pounds.” That is GREAT! But we want to start at smaller milestones to get you to that bigger one. Let’s say 5, 20-pound milestones to get you there!
Step 6. You don’t have a test?
If you want to sleep better, how do I know I am sleeping better? What are you going to look at or test out to see that you ARE sleeping better and getting a better night’s rest? With this, I challenge you to look at these baselines of where you are starting. This will be a benchmark as to what you are trying to change and achieve. When you get that benchmark, you can compare it to how you started, etc.
What it really all comes down to in the end is this goal and desire to change HAS to be realistic. You have to have clear timelines; you have to have feedback. And as we start to change, we want to be clear that these changes are going to last! So, get clear, because without clarity, it’s like running a race without knowing where you are going.
So once again…. Be crystal clear on WHAT it is that you want, WHY you want it and HOW you will know you got it. Get really specific as to what it is so you have 1 single focus.
Ladies…. So important.. Don’t forget to honor the season you are in! Own where you are so you can start to set yourself up for success and know what is reasonable for you in this season of life. This is where a coach really helps! Sometimes we cannot see the relationship from our actions to our goals. We lose sight of that. We have to step in, have reflection, check in and it’s not an invitation to beat yourself up. It is asking us and teaching us what is working, how can I maintain this consistency, am I still marching down the path or do I need to take a left or right turn?
How do you feel when it comes to change? Are you someone who is all about it or someone who needs to be a slow crank to the change? Let me know below!
LINKS
Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/kimbarnesjeffersoncoach
Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/
Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661
Stress-Free Summer:
https://www.fitgirlmagic.com/stressfreesummer22_eb/
Stages of Change Podcast:
https://www.kimbarnesjefferson.com/there-are-5-stages-to-change-your-unhealthy-behaviors/
