What is it actually going to take to hit your goals? And when I get into this subject, I hear a lot about self-discipline. Self-discipline: You don’t let any distractions or short-term temptations get in the way of achieving your goal. You say what you want and move towards what you want! And for some of you, I am not sure if it is more self-discipline or if you are looking for perfection. As you are on this quest for self-discipline it is very easy for us to fall into this perfectionist trap…
What you need to do is to focus on progress and not perfection. You are never going to be perfect; that is why you need self-discipline, it will help you stay focused on the task at hand, even if it doesn’t seem perfect! Self-discipline also involves setting realistic goals and time frames. If you have an unrealistic goal, you are going to be more likely to give up. Ladies, you know that I am a recovering perfectionist, so I have been in your shoes, and I can personally speak from experience.
How do you know if you are chasing perfection?
● You are overly cautious about your choices.
● You overthink things so much that you can’t make decisions.
● You experience analysis paralysis on a constant basis.
● You’re so nervous about blowing it, you don’t want to mess anything up, so you don’t make those choices.
● You are always trying to make that safe and secure choice.
● You start to nitpick every little thing because it’s impossible for you to find traction and be perfect at it, so you keep looking for this perfect program.
Do any of these sound familiar?
This quest for self-discipline has controlled you so much that you are stressed about every little thing, and you can’t make a decision without overthinking it. It’s time to retrain yourself so that you can go at this for the long term. If you are in this stop-and-start, and you are doing all the things and not seeing any changes, maybe the root of the problem is that you are doing ALL the things already and it’s just not working out.
80% of the people that come to me are not far off the mark when we start working together. Most of you just need that radio dial turned a little bit. You just have to make some minor changes. Many of you know what to do, but you have set these goals soooo high that it’s tough to hold up to these standards.
How to start to shift out of this self-discipline, perfectionism quandary?
1 – Here is where we need to set some really CLEAR goals. These need to be specific and you need to define the goal. Then figure out what your WHY is!! This is your reason… This is your reason why you are doing this. Your why is what is going to really help you push the ball up the hill. It is going to help you ask better questions. “I am going to ask myself better questions when I have that why.” This is your motivation.
Get super clear about this. Write down a few ways to get to this goal. (not 4 million!)
Take a look at the list, what feels challenging but doable on that list? 2-3 cups of vegetables every day, 5 cups of water, exercise 30 minutes – 3 days a week. These are my 3 things; I can do more but I am going to focus on these 3 things to start. These are my core!
2 – Know what is going to trip you up.
What are your obstacles? When you know this, you can plan accordingly. If-Then scenario – if this happens, then I will do this. Where are your weaknesses, where do you start to fall down so that we can come up with scenarios to work around them?
3 – Learn how to prioritize.
You are your own bottlenecks, so you need to start to come up with routines. THIS IS THE Fit Girl Magic Formula! – Great habits lead to great routines, which lead to consistency, and this leads to results! We need to start to understand where our bottlenecks are and create these habits. Habits need a trigger, so set your habits around other things in the day that will remind you of those habits you want to create.
4 – Collect Data.
For some people, this is annoying as hell, and I get it. But in order for you to know what is happening, we need to use the data to better understand where it’s coming from. What can we tweak here and there… Many of you are not that far off the mark! Once I take the data, track what I am working out, and track what am I eating, we can study what it is you are doing more closely. We need to get some awareness of what is going on with you and this is the best way to do it!
5 – Strategize.
When we can see the data that we are collecting, we can see what is happening. Then we can strategize our next steps and see where we need to make changes. This is where we will make no more than 1-3 changes, that way we can assess what is the driving change and what is just nice to have. What is going to move that dial? Do this for 30 days then assess again. Collecting the data, doing the next step then assessing the next steps, and creating a strategy.
6 – Accountability.
Self-discipline is one piece, but are you holding yourself accountable? What is realistic? What can you actually do so that you can hold yourself accountable in this process to get closer to your goals? What habits do you need to develop? Make sure your goals are realistic, and that you have the tools and resources available to reach them.
As we get here, we are truly mastering our self-discipline. We are understanding what the benefits of it are, practicing every day, and knowing that we don’t have to be perfect to succeed. Self-discipline is our way of making great decisions. It’s our way of avoiding temptation in order for short-term gain. And I’m never going to say, “No, you can’t have fun.” But you have to ask yourself, how many times are you leaning towards the “I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll do it next week. I’ll start next Monday.”? Versus the, “Hey, I told myself, I was going to do this. And I’m actually going to get it done!”
Let’s start to back away from being afraid, being afraid to make decisions. There is a great book, Feel The Fear And Do it Anyway – that book changed my life! If you feel like analysis paralysis, read this book!
Ladies, you don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t need answers to take your first step. There’s a quote, and it says, “On the staircase of life, all you need to do is to see the first step.” I challenge you to see that first step, stop the over-analyzing, otherwise, you will be stuck here for decades if you are in this analysis loop! Think of this as an experiment, I do this for 30 days, and if it sucks, I go back to what I was doing. If it works, BOOM I have figured something out and I am off of the circle!
Get out of the fear and know that self-discipline can help but make sure it is not border lining on perfection! Find a mentor or coach who can help hold you accountable for reaching your goals. Having someone to help guide and motivate you will increase your chances of success. Celebrate the small victories and learn from the failures that you encounter along the way. Self-discipline, accountability, and realistic goal setting will help you achieve success in whatever endeavor you undertake.
Finally, remember to be patient with yourself. Don’t expect immediate results or overnight success. It may take time for your efforts to pay off, but by remaining focused and motivated, you will eventually reach your goals. Magic makers… by putting in the work, dedication to your goal, and a little bit of self-discipline, anything is possible!!
LINKS
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https://www.facebook.com/kimbarnesjeffersoncoach
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Website:
https://www.kimbarnesjefferson.com/
Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661
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