Today’s podcast is all about making a mindset overhaul. My hope is that you can take a piece of this, a piece of my experiences and lessons I have learned with you. I am hopeful that the lessons I learned in my overhaul and how I changed my mindset are applicable to you and can help you on your journey. The journey of mindset is a tricky one and our brains and minds are so freaking strong. But at the same time, I do know that if you don’t change your mind, you will continue to stay in the same loop.
Guys, I was SO SO SO sick of being stuck and I was over myself and all the bullshit. My identity was solely focused on the way I looked. As a personal trainer. Because when you are at the gym and people see you, and the hire because they tell you they want your arms, shoulders or some other body part, you get sucked into the belief of needing to look a certain way in order to get clients. And you feel like it has absolutely nothing to do with the transformation you can bring a client.
How I LOOKED, MY WORKOUTS were my identity. And my thoughts in a given day were always, how far away was I from my next meal or when was I going to get next workout.
And I had low-grade anxiety over all of this.
Ladies, I am telling you this because I went on like this for a VERY LONG TIME and I do not want you to go through it as long as I did.
I WAS. BURNT. THE. FUCK. OUT!!!
When I was competing, I got soooo fixated on a show and needing a show date to buckle down and be hardcore at the gym, that I was constantly pushing myself and not allowing my body or mind to slow the hell down!
Now my coach could foresee that I was nearing burnout. She knew that I was headed down that path and I will never forget what she said to me My coach said, You can go hard, and you can go long. But you can’t go hard for long BOOM GUYSSS this is gold right here. If you don’t take anything away from what you read, take that away.
Continue to think about that quote. I didn’t want to believe it, but she knew it was inevitable. Now for me, as a coach that is frustrating because I see it in my clients, and I am wanting them to stop when I see this in them, but you honestly have to hit rock bottom on your own to realize this. They have to realize it for themselves and see it for themselves before they will believe that it CAN HAPPEN to them.
I want to tell you what my biggest challenge to overcome was because I know for damn sure that there is someone else out there struggling with this.And that was telling myself and allowing myself to believe that if I didn’t work out for a week that I wouldn’t lose all my gains! I wouldn’t shrink down to nothing because I didn’t hit the gym for a week. I didn’t believe in breaks and I believed that I would lose everything I have worked for by taking a
THIS IS A MYTHHHH!! This will not happen. You will not lose it all my friends! This is what happens when you stop working out after WEEKKSS. Not hours or days. Initially, you will start to see your muscles shrink a little, from no water in the muscle. This is normal. But then you will experience 1 of 2 things.
1) If you do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and enter sloth mode for weeks, then you are going to see that your muscles are shrinking in comparison to your fat cells. Or 2) If you are still moderately active and eating in a healthy manner, you won’t see this immediate decline.
You aren’t going to deflate like a freaking balloon losing air if you take a few weeks off. It just isn’t going to happen and you HAVE TO GET OUT OF THAT MINDSET of thinking that it is going to happen.
I was continuing to push the crap out of myself. And I was consistently gaining 10 pounds a year and when I hit 30 pounds, I told myself something has to give. What I was doing wasn’t giving me what I wanted. It was giving me more of what I didn’t want.
I couldn’t work out any harder.
I couldn’t diet any harder.
Yet I still kept putting on the weight.
Are you shaking your head yet” Am I speaking to you yet’
In order to get different, I had to do differently. I had to decide that I was going to MAKE A CHANGE. I had to tell myself that CHANGE is POSSIBLE, and I had to make it simple. I couldn’t do 2-hour workouts, I couldn’t be hungry all the time anymore. I had to ask myself better questions. But more importantly, I had to tell myself that what I was doing before wasn’t serving me. I was doing all of this stuff and it’s JUST NOT working.
I was sick of the workouts and what was huge for me was that the gym used to be my happy place and now it wasn’t anymore. It wasn’t doing it for me anymore.
So, the first thing was I started going to the gym less. Instead of 7 days a week I did the bare minimum of 3 days a week. I talked myself through it, just do 3 days and don’t feel like I have more in the tank so I can give more. And guess what’ I found I was sleeping better, I was less sore, and I wasn’t as fixated on the gym. I was forcing myself to sit my booty down, even though I didn’t want to. I NEEDED TO.
And this realization that I didn’t need all I thought I needed before was the driving force that brought me into my mission to help other women.
I need you to know that you can do this. I need you to know that you are capable of scaling back.
You need to unpack your fears. What was I so afraid of if I stopped working out 7 days a week’ What would happen if I stopped measuring every morsel of food I ate’ What would happen’ I had to ask myself what the worst thing would happen. And friends, it was UNCOMFORTABLE!!
Then, what is going to be your ideal outcome’ What is your main motivation for being fit and staying active but not being burnt out’ For me, it was so that I was able to move without assistance in my 80s! So, what is your motivation, and what will be your OBSTACLES on the way to where you wanted to be’ I was my own biggest obstacle and most likely you will be your greatest obstacle as well.
So, let’s figure out what is going to be your actual plan’ I want you to write things down. If it is not written down, it’s not a plan. So write down your workouts for the week and get them scheduled on days you will be doing them. And write down what your food will look like for the week. And if writing them down for the entire week is too much, just start doing it day by day. Sit down the night before and plan what you are going to do the next day.
Now, you are going to experiment with what is going to work for you. For me I had to do these to see what would work for me and experimenting with eating differently was a huge experiment for me. Experiment with what happens if you change your breakfast, what happens if we take 2 days off from the gym’ This is important to make sure that these changes and experiments do not make you feel anxious or stressed out and you have to feel ok with what you are doing.? And what is the plan if you feel anxious about missing 2 days in a row’ If you miss 2 days in a row, what is the reason’
Magic makers, YOU HAVE TO break free of that mindset that you are stuck in that place. You have to tell yourself that change IS POSSIBLE! Pay yourself compliments that you are able to live this healthy life!!! That what you are doing is a choice, YOUR CHOICE!!
FIND YOUR WHY!
Why am I driven’
Why am I doing this’
Mine was so that when I stand up in front of my classes, I look like I practice what I preach! I am not standing up there telling people to do this and I don’t do it.
Stop with your own personal judgment and live in with your now.
So this is what I had to do. And I am going to break it down into these 4 steps! So, If you like rules here you go!! ””
- Resist my assumptions. I was assuming that people were judging me. Most people aren’t judging me, I was judging me. So, give yourself a dang break!!
- Understand your true motivations. Why do you want this’ What are you trying to prove’ Is there anything to prove’
- Listen to my body. https://www.kimbarnesjefferson.com/are-you-ready-to-break-up-with-overtraining In a past podcast, Are You Ready To Break Up With Overtraining’ my guest said she was overtraining so much and gave this golden nuggetif you can’t hear your body whisper how are you going to hear it scream’ How are you listening to your body’ There are plenty of things your body tells you when you are overtraining or when it is time to take a break.
- For those perfectionists out there, it’s time for you to experience a B+. Many of us go for A++ but if you simply just went for the B+ it’s above average and below trying to kill yourself! Give yourself that permission to say, instead of being at the gym for 90 minutes, I can do an hour and see what I can get in!
Challenge yourself and ask yourself those hard questions. If you are feeling burnt out by your workouts and tired all the time and BLAH about the gym. Start to ask yourself those better questions.
Many of us need permission to get off the crazy train and if you need that permission, I have no problem helping you do that!! I am here to give you tips and tricks to slow down and still get the results you want from your workouts!!
I know I am not the only person that experienced this. I know I am not the first nor am I going to be the last. So, if you are reading this or you listened to the podcast and you are where I was or need help, reach out and let me know if this helps you. If it sounds like you reach out. Or if you want more episodes to dive deeper into this, let me know and we can make it happen!
LINKS
5 Days Effortless Weight loss Challenge starts March 8th! https://kimbarnesjefferson.lpages.co/5-days-effortless-weight-loss-march2021
What’s your fitness personality’ https://quiz.leadquizzes.com/q/46TLXI
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/FabFitSquad
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/
Website: https://www.kimbarnesjefferson.com/
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661
Are You Ready To Break Up With Overtraining’ https://www.kimbarnesjefferson.com/are-you-ready-to-break-up-with-overtraining/
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