Home » Are You Ready To Beat Your All Or Nothing Mindset?

Are You Ready To Beat Your All Or Nothing Mindset?

  • by

I am so excited about this topic, and I know that so many of you are going to want to get some papers and take notes! (But after, I am hopeful that you take more action than taking notes!)  This is about all-or-nothing and I, my friends, am a card-carrying member of the all-or-nothing club!  I know many of you feel this way too so I wanted to bring in an expert on this.  And Dr. Jessica Hehmeyer was the person to talk with about how we fall into this all-or-nothing pattern and what we can do to break out of this pattern!?


Dr. Jessica Hehmeyer is the physician founder of Well Empowered where she practices data-driven, outcome-oriented Functional Medicine. She created Well Empowered with one commitment in mind: “Guiding you to create the health and vitality that transforms your experience of life and alters what is possible for you.”

Dr Jessica clients people who are learners, she creates a partnership with them so  that they have a say on how their health goes.  There is only so much your doctor can do for you, you have to take that ball and run with it!  We are not washing machines, we cannot be fixed. We have to work on ourselves over time.

A lot of us fall into this all or nothing because you feel you can be fixed, and in order to be fixed you have a list and it has to be all done now, or it’s nothing and clearly, there will not be any results.  The whole perspective is that it’s either all in or all out. Deprivation or overindulgence. That is the paradigm of all or nothing. And the commonality of both of those is self-aggression.

When people are in this broken all-or-nothing approach, they get that AHA moment, they are like, “Okay I am done with it, I am so over it. And they are ready to embark on a journey of mastering their middle ground. And the starting point is self-love. We start by getting them in touch with their intention for their health and their life.  Inviting people to really step into telling a story of where they want their health to be and start to get comfortable with where they want to be.  Queuing into your intention.  Diminish the noise of whether this is good or bad (which is all bull anyways! )

“I am so passionate about guiding women in particular in their journey to create a relationship where they feel good in their bodies based on peace, empowerment, and love. Not only for themselves, but so they can gift it to their children.” – Dr. Jessica Hehymeyer  Back in the day we witnessed  people in families, struggling with their weight, or telling stories of the latest diet they were on. Worst yet, families would recommend that children or teens also do this diet because they could lose a few. Nowadays we don’t say that to our kids, but that was how some of us grew up. Back then they don’t know any better.

You said something I feel like people are like okay I get this… For a lot of people, even if they are clear in their intentions, it’s the COURAGE to do SOMETHING DIFFERENT!
Supporting people in new ways to self-soothe and self-nurture. When people turn to food, they come from a place of wisdom of wanting to feel better, they are human. But their temporary solution will interfere with their long-term commitment in a really big way.  And you do this by helping people resource new ways of taking care of themselves that feel great, but also will support them in their intended future.

Look at it as playing your BEST game vs your PERFECT game will help you go far. Being on that journey continually instead of just saying no, do less of something like eating less sugar week by week.  The courage isn’t saying, “No more orange Frappuccino’s with all this sugar.” The courage is okay, we know the Frappuccino isn’t the key to health, so where would you feel comfortable starting? Moving down to a smaller size to consume less sugar. You don’t have to go cold turkey to black coffee right away, walk instead of run. Be compassionate with your  humanity because when you are up to something big and working on mastering this area of our life, which is big, it takes time to master areas of your life. And yes your life is totally masterable! But knowing that you may fall down and it is okay!  But guess what…. you get back up!

So many of us plan for the perfect day, and if we don’t have that perfect we are like okay see, it’s not going to work or happen.  Planning for the perfect is great, but let me know when that happens because it will NEVER happen! Always have to have a plan B because shit always happens.  And the same shit always seems to happen! We have to have a route or a detour.

One of the reasons why we get into this all-or-nothing mindset is because we have self-aggression.
I feel that we get into this mindset because maybe there are things we cannot control and the aspect of control. Yes, we want to look our best, but people don’t have a really good model for how to get there and how to make those shifts.  What they have been dealt with is the diet books on the shelf.  When people step into that diet mentality, they are either all in or all out. On the diet or off the diet. People are just geared up to make these big drastic shifts. We don’t always need to make these drastic shifts, but to get new outcomes you have to take new actions!

When actions come from a place of self-love, they are typically sustainable. When actions come from a place of self-aggression, they are not sustainable and they are not going to get you the outcomes you are committed to. Deprivation isn’t sustainable. And we know that overindulgence isn’t going to get people the outcomes they are looking for either!

Instead of having that immediate feeling of bad or good, I must go down this rabbit hole, for many of us, have that feeling and then just pause at that time. You will gain the foresight to say something is going on here.  I can either continue down the path I am going or figure my shit out.

The pace of life is put up as the end all be all for everybody. For most people, it’s not really workable. It’s not a recipe for joy.  We need to pause.  We need to pause daily.  Pause to say what is working, what is working for my life. The end all be all, isn’t it?
Is this really how I want my life to go? Do I want my legacy to be that I went really fast and was really busy?

What is one thing that makes you feel magical?
Using my body in nature! I adore being outside in lovely weather and using my body. I adore hiking. So hiking makes me feel magical! We live in Switzerland and the mountains bring me to tears! Using my body in that kind of beauty is awesome!


Facebook Page:

Facebook Group:



Cracking The Belly Fat Code MASTERCLASS:

Dr. Jessica Hehmeyer Website Well Empowered (Free 30-minute Consultation):

Well Empowered Instagram:

Well Empowered Facebook:


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.