Wouldn’t you agree that above all else…above wealth, having a hot body, a loving passionate relationship, a thriving business/career and basically whatever your heart desires above all else …what you and I are looking for is happiness? What’s money, wealth, health, or material possessions if you are NOT happy? They are as nothing. Can you learn to be happy?
Love Yourself First
If you want to be happy, learn to love yourself first. So what does loving yourself mean? If you are a parent, you know that special love you feel for your child? That’s the love you should give to yourself as well.
We are so incredibly hard on ourselves. It’s become a habit to bash the shit out of ourselves about all of our failing or shortcomings. Our internal critic is one bossy mean bitch. You can pull out of that spiral write down everything thing you say that you aren’t and turn it around. So when you say that will never lose those last 10 pounds it’s the way it is.
You would say I am easily losing these last 10 pounds with grace and ease. I know this seems hairy fairy, but you have nothing to lose right now you are beating the crap out of yourself and what?? Nothing, if you showed a little love and support what could happen.
When your children try something new do you shame them into thinking that it’s not for them or do you encourage them to keep going even if they don’t get it on the first try? Exactly!!
Love Yourself with Childlike Wonder
Do you remember the childlike abandon in play? You saw others having fun and succeeding and you wanted to try. You never wondered if you would look bad or fail, you just hopped in and hoped for the best. When was the last time you felt like that?
The inner child has been wounded by our bad life experiences, sometimes on purpose and sometimes not and by what life has delivered to your doorstep. But if you’re willing you can get back in touch with that inner child and free it, you can begin living a life of pure and utter joy.
Last week I was meeting with one of my business partners and we were making goals for the next 90 days. I turned to her three year old twins and asked them what their goals were. Mara said she wanted to play outside in the sunshine and Gina said she wanted to blow as many bubbles as possible.
There was no hesitation in how will this work or I failed in the past so I might as well not try. It was all about going for it!!
Learn to honor yourself – this is important if you want to be happy. Accept your feelings and don’t repress them. This doesn’t mean you always spout your feelings to the world. But between you and you, accept how you feel, sit with your feelings, breathe through them, feel them. When you suppress your emotions, you stop the healing. Many times we just need to get them out so that we can acknowledge and then start to the do the work to move past them. Most of the time if you just let the bad feelings be and accept that bad things do happen in life and don’t try to find blame or a reason, you’ll find that you’ll be better able to honor the process and where you are in it.
Once you identify your feelings and begin loving yourself, a freedom starts to grow in you that’s unlike anything you’ve experienced.
Now Share That Love with Others
Loving yourself opens your eyes to what’s possible for you. Sharing your journey with others brightens both yours lives. Who doesn’t like to feel included? Another way you can learn how to be happy for others without feeling jealous or vindictive.
If you find yourself “hurt” or “triggered” by what someone has said to you, try asking yourself why. When you delve down into the feelings, you’ll understand that you’ve been hurt or triggered because of something you believe about yourself, not necessarily what the person outside of you is saying.
When it comes right down to it, the world could use more people who’ve learned to embrace their inner child, turned off the voice of that inner critic, and loved themselves into happiness.
This is all about creating habits. To make this a habit focus on the enjoyment of making positive changes in your life, create social accountability by telling your friends that you acted on the good habit, and rewarding yourself.