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Stop Trying to Be 30

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Alright… let’s talk about a concept… This may ruffle some feathers… BUTTT! What worked in your 30’s IS NOT going to work in your 40’s. Hate to break it to you. But it is true.  Our bodies are different, our lives are different, so much has changed and for most of us, it is impossible to do what we did then. I say this because I have clients come to me that I have coached for a number of years and talk about what happened 5 years ago. I get it, you want to look at the past and use that as a reference but have you fully considered there is a reason why you are no longer doing it? 

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I don’t want you to give because, You STILL can work out and eat good and FEEL good too!  You just have to do things a little differently now, but I know that you can get back to where you want to be! Now…you have to take into account what is going on in your life at this very moment. Assess, investigate, and make modifications to see if it will be sustainable. And we do this by working on our REPS.
1. R – Is it realistic in your life right now?
2. E – Are you excited about it?
3. P – Can you make a plan?
4. S – And ultimately is it sustainable?

I get it, it habit that you always want to reach back into your old bag of tricks. Our bodies are so smart they know all the tricks. And I get it, in the past I was a 5 meal/day girl too, racing to get protein in the minutes after my workout. If my workout wasn’t 2 hours why workout… I was that person. But I look at my life and I don’t want to make that kind of time anymore.  In order for us to fit into this new life, you have to take a look.  What was going on in the old life that allowed us to be able to do that? When you move into this new life, you want to move away from the overwhelm! You have enough going on in our lives, the LAST thing you want is to be overwhelmed with getting healthy and feeling good!

How do you eliminate this OVERWHELM??
Together we start by breaking down your day. This is a time audit.  You need a system in place to get things down. How are we using our time and what are our time sucks? Can it be outsourced? Can it be done in a different way?

➡️   Keep a list of the top things you need to do each week. Pick 3 objectives every single day. But keep them realistic too!  (If you need help with a time audit! SEND ME AN EMAIL! Or DM ME!)

➡️  Create a manageable schedule. You need to be able to give yourself some  wiggle room because things will run over.  LEARN to start saying NO! My husband says my favorite word is no… You bet your sweet bottom it is! Will doing something that you don’t have time to do, derail your program?  It’s ok to say no to something you don’t have time to do or don’t want to do!  NO is a complete sentence. And we don’t have to justify why we say NO to anyone!

STOP being a seeker.
Another way to make this transformation into our 40s. I see it all the time.  Are you always peeking around the corner trying to see if there is a better diet or workout or whatever it is. Review what you are doing.  What is working, what is not working? If I don’t know my challenges, how will I know the thing around the corner is what will solve my problems????

Weight loss comes with a lot of different steps. What are the steps that are tripping you up? How are you tripping over your own 2 feet to get stuff done? Every diet is going to say exercise more and eat less.  That is just how it is. So…. Are you even exercising? Do you even like the exercises? Do you even like the food they are requesting you to eat?

We are trying to find our goldilocks zone. We have to experiment with different things to see what is working and what is not.  We are trying to figure out a food cadence that doesn’t make me starve, isn’t too much, and isn’t too little.  This is the same with exercise.  Hunger, cravings, and energy are always in check. YOUR HEC IS IN CHECK!

Take a snapshot. Where are you? Step back and take a look. For many people, I can help them lose that stubborn weight…. HOWEVER… we are only going to change 1 thing at a time.  It’s not me handing you a plan and your set for life.  It is me taking a look at what you are doing, past and present.  We are going to take a snapshot of what you are doing and figure out what we are going to work on first.  What are you willing to commit to?
Everyone wants change but you have to be willing to change and have to be able to change.  What you are willing and able to change right now may be different from 30-60 days from now? Think about that…

Be 1% better…
I know this may seem hard…  But this is making continuous improvements.  Small daily actions over time.  Small little changes can do a lot for you! Just think at 210 degrees, water is hot… at 212 degrees it is boiling…. Just a 2-degree difference can change SOOO much!  So just remember that! We have to stop trying to climb Mount Everest in 1 day.  That takes 2 freaking months to scale that thing! This journey to a better feeling you will take some time; things don’t work the way they used to 10 years ago.

This leads me to… WE HAVE to stick to the fundamentals!
The fundamentals are boring.. I KNOW!! But they are consistent. And it helps you hit your non-negotiables. I always challenge my clients to come up with these non-negotiables. 3 things you are going to do day in and day out to get you towards a healthier, better feeling YOU! These have to be things that are so easy for you that you will not blow off.  Challenge yourself. And be specific. WHAT exactly is it?!

This is what started the FIT GIRL MAGIC! Great habits equal great routines.  Routines lead to consistency and that consistency leads to results!! And everyone is looking for results.  That is your formula! Find your habits girl!

Look at what is working right now for you and BUILD on that. How do we add a trigger on that? What are you doing now you can build onto? For example… You want to use the Sauna at your gym. So you are going to go to the gym, do your workout, and after your workout you are going to spend 15 minutes in the sauna for some restorative relaxation. The workout is the trigger to get to the sauna!

DO more of what is working. If your non-negotiables are working, what other non-negotiables can you add on? But don’t rush through these and add more stuff after a few days.  Do your non-negotiables 30, 60, 90-day increments so you are in a grove before you add anything else on.

Look at your past.
Learn… Where were you when you were at your best? When you do that… Does my life reflect the best of my past? Can you do now what you did in your 30s?  Find the new pace that will work for you and be ok with it. Make peace with it. As long as you are moving towards your goals, put the speed on the shelf. As long as you are making forward progress that is what matters.  If you don’t know how to find your pace or how to put this all together, that is what a good coach does. A good coach helps you with your blind spots.

You have to have a system, and my first system is the non-negotiables. If you are off track or off point, what are the points you’re trying to get to? Where did you derail?

Because guess what?? If you have a system, you can look back and see where you went off track.  Create if-then programming.  If this happens, then I will take this action.  By doing this, you are already pre-programmed for a PLAN B!

STOP CHASING MOTIVATION
This is definitely going to be a tad bit controversial. BUT! You are never going to be motivated… Motivation is the general willingness to do something.  But Steve Pressfield, The author of The War of Art wrote it best… “Motivation; At some point, the pain of not doing it becomes greater than the pain of doing it.”  The pain of me not working out, not eating healthy, is GREATER than the pain of doing it.  The action precedes motivation.
Start thinking about motivational pieces in your life.  When I take action, motivation is like ok… that is what we wanted to do!!

I always tell people; you need to get clear about where you want to go. Then we can get connected.  And that connection is your why. It’s your vision.  You don’t want to just lose the weight, there is something else there, there is a vision there!! Name that reason and then we can connect to it.  When I am connected to my vision, I will ask better questions. If I ask myself better questions, I get better answers. -Tony Robbins
To help you with that motivation, automate a lot of your decisions.  Set things up so you just get going and don’t even have to think.  Schedule it.  Put it in your calendar.  Block out time for it and make it a non-negotiable!

BE OKAY WITH BEING IMPERFECT
You get caught up in how things should look. My workouts should look like this. My plate should look like this.  My day should look like this. Stop SHOULDING all over the place! Who says?? Who is the judge? We create this pace that is so above our head we can’t see it and it becomes so unrealistic. We have to decide that good enough is good enough. Go for the B-. You don’t have to be an A++ person all the damn time.

This is where I look at my Good, Better, Best method. I was always going for the best.
So, what I do is I say what is Best, Better, and Good and this helps me to break out of that cycle of more and more and more!
For example.  Workouts for me.
–        3 days a week is the bare minimum.  This is my GOOD.
–        4 days a week is my BETTER.
–        5 days a week is my BEST!
Most weeks I am hitting my 5, but LIFE happens and with this, I am prepared for that.

Ladies, I want you to have this ultimate vision. Where it is you want to go and CONNECT with that. Then everything we talked about will really come to pieces. Once you are connected to that vision, it is time to get you to where you want to be!
Here is a little recap of what we went over!
1. Look at how much time you want to devote to this.
2. What is my life right now vs when I was 30?
3. Stop chasing shiny objects. Truly assess where we are right now in this moment and where we are trying to go
4. 1% better
5. Boring is consistency.
6. Motivation is action.
7. Have that vision of where you want to go and where you see yourself.

Ladies, I want to help you feel good again and I want to help you make yourself a priority again, with the RIGHT tools for you right now, where you are in life. We are not in our 30s and we never will be.  Our lives are so different now but that doesn’t mean you can’t feel as good as you did then!

LINKS

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https://www.facebook.com/kimbarnesjeffersoncoach

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