I recently sat down and talked to Nicky Stansbury. She is a graduate of Capella University and a certified life coach from the Coaching Training Alliance, and she teaches boss ladies like you how to tame the guilt, the procrastination and the stress so you can live the life that you so desperately want to live.
Have you ever had that guilty feeling that you’re working too much’ Like you’re always wondering what’s going on in some other part of your life’ It probably means that you’re putting something off in one area of your life and your needs there aren’t getting met. Guilt usually comes at you from a place of blaming and shaming yourself, says Nikki.
To remove this from your life you really need to find your way out of the chaos, hustle, and grind of your normal everyday life. You need to be present, otherwise everything is pushed and forced, and it fills you with anxiety or depression. Do you find yourself always thinking about your next move and end up trying to cram everything you can into that one moment’ You can become addicted to the chaos.
The guilt and shame just make chaos thrive.
It’s a hard cycle to stop because when you try to remove something to relive the pressure, it usually just gets filled with something else. The sad part is that we begin to wear busy like a badge of honor, as if we’re not worthy of the life we truly desire unless we are running around with a chicken with our heads cut off. You feel like you don’t deserve relaxation and ease in your lives. You have an all or nothing mindset and it’s time to get off this train!
Nicky teaches a GPS system that derails the chaos. You can start with something small. Maybe you can’t get away right now for your dream Tahitian vacation, but what about two days away’ With a little restructuring you can.
First, reduce your stress by writing it all down. When you make your to-do list, make it an action list not a laundry list of tasks. When you write in actionable terms, you give yourself clear directions. Like when your GPS tell you to go X number of miles then turn right at the next street. It’s very specific. So instead of saying do laundry, give yourself the steps – separate, wash, fold, put away.
The second thing that will help you relieve stress is not procrastinating. Change the way you think about the task at hand. Instead of, “OMG, this is going to take forever,” instead think to yourself, “This is only going to take 2 minutes” (or 15 or whatever). That will take the frustration out of it and let you move on. Also, use time blocking. By setting aside specific time for specific tasks, you can focus on that one thing, get it done, and move on with your life.
The last piece of Nikki’s GPS system is the quarterly Chaos Killer. This is her two-day signature intensive that really focuses on taking the actions needed to kill the chaos that is surrounding you. During this time, she really focuses in on the daily actions that remove the chaos and creates a plan for the next quarter. It’s a time of deciding what you want stuff to really look like and where in your life you can let stuff go.
By the end of the two days, you have some systems, routines, and habits in place so that when you do start to feel out of control, you start to feel the chaos starting to creep back in, you can go back to a template. And that’s really what we need, a new safe place to fall back to. Because we’re all looking for that safe place.
Listen to the Fit Girl Magic Podcast and find out how to get to your safe place with Nikki’s system and let go of the stress in your life.
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