One of the first words we learned to say after we said either Momma or Dadda was NO! That shit is power!! Saving no isn’t not really a tool; it’s more of a response.
‘No’, by its very definition is a word that ‘ends, closes off, or discontinues a line of thought or conversation’. Quite obviously, it negates things. Feeling stressed out?? Using the power of no can reduce the effect that it has on us, to lower its levels and even stop it from ever having the chance take over our mindset.
Saying NO keeps us from getting overwhelmed. It’s the feeling of overwhelm that keeps feeling stuck and caught in a corner. If someone asks us to do some work for them and we say ‘Yes’, now we have to commit ourselves to their goals, deadlines and expectations and so we can feel either small or great amounts of stress.
When you say ‘No’ in exactly the same situation, then quite simply we don’t. We don’t take on-board the desires of the other person, we don’t put ourselves under the pressure of their expectations, and we don’t allow our own freedom to be taken by their goals, objectives, and tasks. All of this is the result of just saying ‘No’. Simple yes???
It’s Harder For Some Than Others
Well not so fast. Saying ‘No’ comes easy to some people but not everybody can do it. Are you one of those people that if you say no, you get the angel on your shoulder telling you that you are a selfish bitch if you don’t help out so you inevitably say ‘Yes’ and end up either feeling overwhelmed, manipulated or kicking yourself for not saying NO!
It’s important to know when to say ‘No’ and it’s just as important to have the ability to say ‘No’ when you want to.
To say no without the guilt you need to be clear about your abilities and limitations.
You need to be honest with yourself with what we can and can’t do.
If you have a solid grasp of your limitations then you are able to say ‘Yes’ up to a point, and when you reach your tipping point you can say ‘No’ with the overwhelm or the guilt.
To do this you have to tap into how much you can have on your plate before you push the breaking point. You must learn to recognize the exact moment when things become too much, and it’s in this moment when you need to say ‘No’.
Saying ‘No’ keeps your stress levels from reaching critical level. When you tune into yourself, you will know exactly when hit this point. After that point however, you will have noticed a change in your inner mindset. You may feel more tense and even anxiety, frustration, irritability and possibly mad at yourself for being put in that situation yet again.
These feelings are clues that you have allowed yourself to be pushed too far.
No, Just Do It!
When you have recognized your limitations through careful observation of your inner and outer stress levels, all you have to do is develop the ability to be honest with yourself and with the people around you.
If you can be honest and openly admit when you are at maximum capacity, then you will be better able to just say ‘No’ to any more added pressure and stress.
I know this sounds really simple and that’s because it is. Yes there are some other variables that you have to take into account. Some of these are…
- You may get carried away with what something that you want and you take on extra stress because It’s because you really want something, only to find out later that it left you feeling overloaded and burnt out.
- Some people if you give them an inch they will take a mile. That mile may push you over the edge.
Blissful ignorance, meaning you may not have known exactly what you were getting yourself into when you agreed to something. If this is the case, just get out and re-awaken your ‘’No’ Warrior’ as soon as you realize that you’re in too deep. You may feel like you are disappointing people, but trust me, you’ll be much better off in the long run.
From here on out you are going to develop your own ‘No, Thank You’ Mantra.
Use it whenever someone approaches you and tries to persuade you to do something you don’t want to do or that you just don’t have the ability to do because you’re already maxed out.
You can even use it on people who give you negative opinions and comments or even arguments. Just say ‘No, Thank You’ and walk away. One of my mentors says it so simply No is a complete sentence!
Saying no helps to stay sane and focus on the things you need to get done in life. Sure why you have the bandwidth you can help people out. Do you best before someone asks you to help think about it for a few seconds to assess if you can truly help without stressing yourself out.
Doing this will show you that you really do have the power to effectively manage your stress; all you have to do is … Say NO!
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