Let’s get real here, it’s happened to me on multiple occasions. Have you ever found yourself close to achieving a goal, only to throw it all away when you can see the goal insight? Then you look back later and kick yourself and call yourself a ding dong! Video may contain dirty words 😯
I’m right there with you. When I was competing whenever I would get close to a show like clockwork I’d love my sh*t and have a rice Krispy treat or something that was not on my plan. My justification was I needed it. Yeah – no one ever needs a Rice Krispy treat, but let me tell you those things just called my name!!! Do you have something that calls your name and once you start thinking about it you can’t stop!!!
If you want to get technical I was scared that my dreams were coming true and I was taking steps to put the breaks on my process!
I spent plenty of nights, beating myself up racked with guilt wondering WTF, why did I do that? There are so many possibilities I needed to feel in control the situation to not feeling unworthy to step on the stage. Whatever the cause, here are some ways to get out of your head and move forward toward your goals without getting in your own way.
Here are ways I use to get out of my own damn way!
- Check yourself. I know first hand it’s hard to call yourself on your sh*t, but you gotta do it if you are ever going to get out of your own way. Ask yourself that hard question without any justification; I know that’s real hard cuz I can justify just about ANYTHING!!! Anyone else feel the same way?? Ignore the reasons and just observe the behavior(s). What conclusion would a casual observer draw from your behavior?
- When you find yourself going into sabotage mode. How and when do you do it? Is here a pattern? For me I knew it was 4 weeks out from show, I would crawl out of skin!! I needed and wanted everything I couldn’t have.
- No one is perfect! So many times when we start something we want everything to be PERFECT guess what that’s not life!!! Instead of saying F’ it when you fall off track or it’s taking longer than you thought or its a little more challenging than we thought. Pay attention to your expectations. My favorite measure is good, better and best. What’s will be a good outcome, a better outcome and the best outcome. This way I set my expectations without me striving for perfection.
- Your self-sabotaging behavior doesn’t help you or others around you. Before you throw in the towel, consider how it will affect those around you. One of the best quotes, I’ve read about this is
I work with a number of Mommies and many of them start to work out to be a good example for their children. When you want to quit, I want you to think about why you started and to keep going despite any set backs
- Are you ready to step up? It’s SO easy to stay the same, it’s like a warm bed, it comfy and cozy. To really get what you want, you may need to adjust your outlook or have a change of scenery! Is it getting a different job, leaving or starting a relationship? If there is any element in your life that may have you sliding back to where you are now, it is WORTH your while to step up and make these changes to keep you on your new path.
- If you tend to start new projects, but then stop yourself before ever completing them, nothing will ever change and you’ve just wasted time. This was me for SO long, books, classes, workout programs. I d buy them with all the vim and vigor and then slowly but surely I’d fall off and wouldn’t complete them. Starting this January I made a rule that I will finish every thing I start I won’t fall victim to shiny object syndrome!!!
- Celebrate small victories when we want to make changes, we’ll decide that we want to run a marathon in one day. Let’s get real unless you are running for your life or a sale a lululemon that’s just not realistic. Then you beat yourself up because you didn’t run this “marathon” How about we break down your goal and give yourself props for the little things you have accomplished. Give yourself the gift of having a few small successes. It could be a simple as prepping one meal, not having that brownie when you wanted it or staying on the treadmill or an extra 10 minutes when you wanted to quit 3 minutes in. These successes aren’t perfect, but they still made your life better.
- Enjoy the victory and imagine how great it would be to accomplish greater successes.
- Don’t make snap decisions. Yes, I’m a go with your gut kinda person, but when it comes to my health I want to ensure that I will be successful. So when I was competing, I didn’t compete in the Fall because when I was working a corporate job that was my busy season and I knew that I’d be missing workouts and just stressed out because I overcommitted. Now, that’s not saying I wasn’t working out, it was just that I committing to a large scale goal I couldn’t do with all my heart. Make sense? Take a few days to give you the perspective you require to make a wise decision.
I know first hand that self-sabotage can be frustrating. In the moment, it might seem like you’re making a good choice, but eventually the truth slaps you in the face! Before you step in the ring and beat yourself up like Rocky and Apollo , stop right there and press the pause button. Go through these steps and ask yourself how the heck can you get out of the self-sabotage loop. What are you scared of?? What will success feel like and are you willing to do whatever it takes to have that feeling?
Be good to yourself and avoid “shooting yourself in the foot” with self-sabotage. I know that you can and will be successful!