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What You Need To Know About Self Discipline

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Self-Discipline is a combination of skills that when put into effect consistently, will achieve the results that you want.  And that is what we are talking about today!  So many of us say, “If I had more self-discipline, I would be able to eat better, sleep more, work out more, or just do whatever!”.  Self-discipline tells us that if we had more consistency in our lives, our health, our relationships, fitness, family, whatever you want to achieve would be better.  Consistency is a long-term process, it doesn’t take a week, it doesn’t take 30 days, it takes longer than that and the point of working long term on this is so that it becomes a routine to you, it becomes like breathing.  


The road to self-discipline consists of long-term practice or routine.  These practiced behaviors over a long period of time lead to your success. And I have some steps that you can take to help get you there! 

First Step…  

Being organized is PARAMOUNT!  I am an organized winger; I am organized in some things and others not so much.  But you NEED organization when it comes to self-discipline!  You have to things laid out and organized in a way so that you know exactly what you are doing. 

Self-discipline is about long term success and long-term behaviors.  In order to do this, you need to create a schedule and be organized. Create a plan whether it is WEEKLY OR DAILY, set the plan!!  This is when I am going to eat, this is when I am going to work out, these are the times and just stick to that plan.  By doing this, you’ve set out the intentions of what you want life to be versus letting life take you where ever the wind blows.  

Second Step… 

You have to be okay with being a BEGINNER! Beginnings are freaking messy as all hell, and you are not going to nail it when you first get started. It is just how things are!  It is like learning a new language… There is no way you are going to be fluent in it the first day you start learning it, but by day 100 you may be pretty damn  good.  And so many people expect this when it comes to health and fitness.  They think they will get it right away and that there won’t be any setbacks or struggles.  Hint, ladies, yes there will be! It is just the nature of the beast.   

Third Step… 

Be HONEST with yourself and take personal responsibility for your actions.  Where have you tripped up before’  When did you step in the poop on the carpet” Let’s look for that poop so that next time, you won’t step in it and it won’t trip us up!  You must be able to overcome these hurdles and be able to shift on the fly and be okay with change.  Life came at us really freaking fast with all this Coronavirus stuff, and being able to take a step back, access, acknowledge and move on is where your strength comes in.  

It’s okay to be nervous, or scared or afraid. That is how we are right now. But my biggest challenge to you is, I want you to just own it. Step up and own where you are so we can make better choices, make better decisions because, at the end of the day, our decisions drive us! And taking responsibility for your actions is the core of self-discipline! Self means YOU! Look at your own behaviors and say, “are my behaviors leading to my success’”   

Fourth Step… 

You HAVE TO believe that you are responsible for yourself. Don’t believe that it is in someone else’s hands.  As a trainer and coach, I believe that I am a guide. I am pointing things out, that is my job. When you are clear with what you want, it doesn’t take an outside influence to do the right thing. You just know. 
Tony Robbins (…my boyfriend…) always says, “If you want a better life, you have to ask yourself better questions.”  AND the question I always challenge my clients to ask and I challenge you to ask, “Is what I am doing right now moving me towards my goal or away from my goal’” Don’t beat yourself up over this question, it’s seriously a black and white question and answer, but ask yourself this! 

Fifth Step… 

Believe in your POTENTIAL!  You have GOT TO believe that this is possible for you, you just have it.  You have to believe you can achieve that goal and that it is possible for you and set yourself up in a way that will lead you to success.  If you have a moment of chowing down on pop tarts, forgive yourself for that moment, and learn from them. What set you off’ How did you feel’  

Sixth Step… 

You need to have GOAL CLARITY!  If you don’t set your goals properly, you are never going to achieve them.  I know so many people are afraid to set goals because they failed before.  It’s not you, it’s not the goals, you honestly may just not have been very clear of what you wanted or set a deadline!! Or…. its scope creep! 

But what is scope creep” Ever wanted to remodel your bathroom’ And first, you want to do the floors, you do the floors and now you want to do the tub, then the sink then the toilet, and it just keeps going and going, there is NO END IN SIGHT! The original goal was just the floor, right’  Well, that is scope creep… You keep adding things on to that original goal, and you never end up “hitting” that goal because you have added all of these extras onto it.  And the best way to get around this is with my REPS formula that I set up all of my clients with to go through!  (I talked about this a few podcasts back but you can listen here.) You need to go through the REPS formula so you know you are hitting goals that you’ll actually hit and actually succeed! 

Seventh Step… 

You have to have GRATITUDE!  Every night before I go to bed, I write down 3 simple things that I can be grateful for. And it was hard during this time of the lockdown.  But finding comfort and gratitude in the little things is what really helps me. It doesn’t have to be a big huge thing. Little things are absolutely perfect and sometimes make a bigger impact! 

Eighth Step… 

You have got to have some CONFIDENCE!  Be confident, be patient, and be calm. And it brings us back to my REPS Formula.  Are your plans and your goals realistic’ Are you excited about them’ Do you have a pre-emptive plan’ Is this sustainable for the long term, and that way, I know you’re going to hit your goals. And as you’re making these strides towards your goals, I know you’re going to feel confident about them!! Just be calm and confident that the goals will happen.  

I want you and everyone who’s listening, to focus. Focus on the PROCESS over the PROGRESS. When I focus on my process, that is repeatable. And if the process is good, then the results will come, and the results will be repeatable. Call it weight loss, self-discipline whatever we want to call it, but it has to be repeatable. 

And the LAST Step… 

Forgive yourself for your imperfections!  You are gonna slip up, you are gonna screw up in the beginning, but don’t let that send you off the rails!  Side story, I was in Melbourne, Australia and I tripped in the middle of a busy ass street.  And ya know, I could have just laid there like a dang speed bump. But I dusted myself off and got up, embarrassed as all hell and kept going!  That is what I want you to think about when you have 1 too many pop tarts or gummy worms. It’s a moment in time OWN IT and move on. Don’t let that one little slip-up and send you off the rails. YOU DON’T have to be perfect from day one.  KNOW where you want to go and CREATE a plan from there.  That is how you are really going to get that self-discipline that we all want. We want health and fitness to be easy and breezy, and that is my whole key! 

Let me know if this helps you! Go through the REPS like I talked about above and think about it! This is a long-term practice and it isn’t going to be done overnight. Small steps will get you there much faster than the go big go home mentality!!  

Enjoy your life magic makers and connect with me on the socials and let me know what you all think!  

Episode 34 REPS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/why-reps-is-the-only-skill-you-really-need-34/id1476883661’i=1000468078673 

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/FabFitSquad 

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/ 

Website: https://www.kimbarnesjefferson.com/ 

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661 






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